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| 2008-07-22 21:24 |
| Alright, alright... |
| Public |
 good |
| thoughts |
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There is one thing I regret about this whole situation.
I regret that I didn't copy my comment before I was defriended.
LOL.
Also, I wonder why I haven't been deleted off of her facebook? I guess she forgot. She got me on lj and MySpace.
As you can tell I'm crushed, completely crushed.
There is also one down-side of this "cutting of the ties" -- I don't get to laugh at all the angsty emo immature posts anymore! Yet, at the same time, that's basically the biggest up-side. Lol.
I actually feel really, really good about this. Does this make me a bad person? Hm. If it does, oh well. I don't care.
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| 2008-07-21 16:06 |
| You totally deserved it. |
| Public |
 accomplished |
| thoughts |
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I suppose I should feel guilty about that comment.
But finally "saying" things I've been wanting to say for nearly a year?!
Totally feel great about it.
And if you don't want to talk to me anymore because of what I said? Fine with me.
Oh, and nope, not going to apologize for anything. Don't feel an ounce of "sorry" in me at all.
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| 2008-05-19 23:52 |
| Practically all my entries have the same tags. |
| Public |
 contemplative |
| thoughts |
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I know there's a reason I didn't get the job I wanted. It would have been nicer, and easier. Perhaps I'm not meant to have it easy? I knew it was too good to be true.
Part of me still wonders if this is what I'm supposed to be doing. It still doesn't feel right. Shouldn't it feel right?
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| 2008-05-02 12:56 |
| I'm not gonna lie. |
| Public |
 hungry |
| thoughts |
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I've been keeping my phone nearby, just in case I get an email.
I don't know why I even bothered to send one. I don't really expect an answer, especially right away, but I still want one.
I hate being this pathetic. Every time I'm pretty convinced I'm over it, I surprise myself again with my stupidity.
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| 2008-04-09 23:10 |
| Dreamworld. |
| Public |
| pensive |
| thoughts |
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I kind of wished you would call today, even though I knew you wouldn't.
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| 2008-02-27 20:30 |
| Blah. |
| Public |
| sad |
| thoughts |
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I really wish someone would realize how unhappy I am with everything.
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| 2008-02-14 00:44 |
| Ugh. |
| Public |
 exhausted |
| thoughts |
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I am probably being a bitch, but I've gone way beyond caring.
I wish you weren't so immature.
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| 2008-01-11 20:49 |
| I think I should feel bad about feeling this way, but I don't. |
| Public |
 stressed |
| "Tiny Little Fractures" ~ Snow Patrol |
| thoughts, venting |
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When I said I like you less and less every day, I wasn't kidding.
I'm not looking forward to you coming back on Sunday. I wish I could just keep on being by myself. A single room would be so great right now.
I don't know how I'm going to make it through this last semester. I guess it's good that I'll be gone until 3:30/4pm every day. Is it too mean to say that I hope you have afternoon/evening classes? Or at least I hope you get out of the room more often. Go hang out with Hannah and Josh. Maybe I should make it a point to go over to Amanda and Christie's more often. Getting out will be good for me. Mostly so I won't go crazy and want to kill yell at you.
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| 2007-12-05 04:46 |
| Ugh. |
| Public |
| exhausted |
| thoughts |
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I feel like I'm thisclose to snapping.
I feel kind of guilty that the things that bother me are getting to me, but...well, I was going to say "I can't help it," but maybe I can. I don't feel like I can.
I just want to be home. Can we skip straight to April 27th? I don't really need all those months between now and then. It couldn't possibly be that I'm too scared to face them...nope, not at all.
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| 2007-10-21 22:13 |
| All in all it was a pretty good day. |
| Public |
 okay |
| "So Beautiful" ~ Darren Hayes |
| thoughts |
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I knew he wouldn't call. Even so, I had my phone next to me all day. Sometimes I vaugely wondered if my phone was acting up; what if he had tried to call me and it didn't go through? But then I told myself that it didn't really matter. The way we parted Friday night was perfect.
I keep telling myself I've got to move on. Hopefully I'll start listening to myself soon.
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| 2007-10-07 04:13 |
| Ugh. |
| Public |
| exhausted |
| thoughts |
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I may or may not have checked my gmail 4815162342 times today waiting hoping for a reply, even though I knew he'd be busy today.
*shakes head*
When did I become that girl?!
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| 2007-09-27 01:40 |
| I don't wanna live inside this daydream anymore, I just wanna be happy again. |
| Public |
 cold |
| "Otis Redding" ~ Everclear (stuck in my head) |
| thoughts, venting |
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Why can't I tell you all the things I'm thinking and feeling? Why is this always so hard for me?
I need to just get over myself and do this shit.
I need to find a way to be more confident, self-assured and competent.
Pining is not the answer.
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| 2007-09-22 01:52 |
| Shit. |
| Public |
 moody |
| thoughts |
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He told me I am the last girl he's spoken to in person aside from his family.
I have to admit that made me smile.
Then I felt awful about my reaction.
I shouldn't care who he sees or doesn't see. It shouldn't bother me, yet it does.
I told myself not to get my hopes up. I told myself not to get too attached.
But I did.
Damn.
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