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| 2008-07-22 21:24 |
| Alright, alright... |
| Public |
 good |
| thoughts |
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There is one thing I regret about this whole situation.
I regret that I didn't copy my comment before I was defriended.
LOL.
Also, I wonder why I haven't been deleted off of her facebook? I guess she forgot. She got me on lj and MySpace.
As you can tell I'm crushed, completely crushed.
There is also one down-side of this "cutting of the ties" -- I don't get to laugh at all the angsty emo immature posts anymore! Yet, at the same time, that's basically the biggest up-side. Lol.
I actually feel really, really good about this. Does this make me a bad person? Hm. If it does, oh well. I don't care.
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| 2008-07-21 16:06 |
| You totally deserved it. |
| Public |
 accomplished |
| thoughts |
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I suppose I should feel guilty about that comment.
But finally "saying" things I've been wanting to say for nearly a year?!
Totally feel great about it.
And if you don't want to talk to me anymore because of what I said? Fine with me.
Oh, and nope, not going to apologize for anything. Don't feel an ounce of "sorry" in me at all.
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| 2008-06-26 23:51 |
| I like writing "open letters" to anonymous recipients. |
| Public |
 agitated |
| venting |
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1. I wish I had the courage -- or whatever the hell it is that I lack -- to tell you that you're a freak. You're not normal, nowhere near it in fact! You need help and I wish you'd accept it. You're going to wind up alone and insane otherwise.
2. Why the hell do I care what you do? We're both adults. Just because we were "friends" in our past doesn't mean we always will be. I guess I just don't like letting go, even when I know there's nothing there (nor has there been for quite a while).
3. Seriously, if I never had to talk to, or deal with you ever again for the rest of my life, I don't think I'd miss you at all. You're neurotic, but what's worse is you're mean. I hate mean people.
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| 2008-05-19 23:52 |
| Practically all my entries have the same tags. |
| Public |
 contemplative |
| thoughts |
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I know there's a reason I didn't get the job I wanted. It would have been nicer, and easier. Perhaps I'm not meant to have it easy? I knew it was too good to be true.
Part of me still wonders if this is what I'm supposed to be doing. It still doesn't feel right. Shouldn't it feel right?
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| 2008-05-02 12:56 |
| I'm not gonna lie. |
| Public |
 hungry |
| thoughts |
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I've been keeping my phone nearby, just in case I get an email.
I don't know why I even bothered to send one. I don't really expect an answer, especially right away, but I still want one.
I hate being this pathetic. Every time I'm pretty convinced I'm over it, I surprise myself again with my stupidity.
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| 2008-04-14 22:45 |
| I just want to scream. |
| Public |
| angry |
| venting |
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I wish I would just tell you how much of a freak I think you are. You are unbelievable. I didn't know one person could have many things wrong with them. Especially all at once.
These next 11 days can't go by quickly enough.
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| 2008-04-09 23:10 |
| Dreamworld. |
| Public |
| pensive |
| thoughts |
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I kind of wished you would call today, even though I knew you wouldn't.
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| 2008-04-02 22:48 |
| @#$%^&*!!!!!!11one!11! |
| Public |
| bitchy |
| venting |
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She makes me so angry. So so so so angry. It's way past the "annoyance" stage.
I don't believe I've ever met someone so selfish, immature, spoiled, ridiculous and annoying -- ALL AT ONCE -- before.
I hate how I feel the anger bubble up inside. It literally feels like fire inside me sometimes. I just want to yell at her. I want to yell at her and tell her all the things she does that makes it just about impossible for me to live with her. I honestly don't know what is stopping me from doing it. I do. not. know.
I am overjoyed that I'll be graduating in 22 days. Holy shit, you don't even know.
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| 2008-03-18 21:56 |
| Grawr! |
| Public |
| frustrated |
| "Biding My Time" ~ Pink Floyd |
| venting |
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Do you ever do work? I mean, seriously, do you? I never see you doing homework. I never see you studying.
I see you playing the Sims 70% of the time, and online games (like Sudoko and Uno) 10% of the time, chatting/flirting online 10% of the time, and sleeping the other 10%.
I honestly do not know how you continue to pass your classes. I'm really curious to see your GPA. Especially with all those classes you've dropped.
I really do like you less and less every single day, and it only makes me sad because I remember what it was like to be friends with you before you drove me completely insane.
I've got A LOT of shit on my mind right now, I really, really do not need more from you. Thanks.
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| 2008-02-27 20:30 |
| Blah. |
| Public |
| sad |
| thoughts |
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I really wish someone would realize how unhappy I am with everything.
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| 2008-02-14 00:44 |
| Ugh. |
| Public |
 exhausted |
| thoughts |
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I am probably being a bitch, but I've gone way beyond caring.
I wish you weren't so immature.
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| 2008-02-02 05:22 |
| Oy vey. |
| Public |
| exhausted |
| venting |
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Just when I think things are back to "normal," you go batshit crazy on me.
Please don't do this. I hate it a lot.
I don't really want to spend the next 3 months avoiding you and being frustrated with you.
Maybe I'm selfish or pretentious or something, but I really don't think this has anything to do with me. It's all you, as far as I can see.
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| 2008-01-11 20:49 |
| I think I should feel bad about feeling this way, but I don't. |
| Public |
| stressed |
| "Tiny Little Fractures" ~ Snow Patrol |
| thoughts, venting |
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When I said I like you less and less every day, I wasn't kidding.
I'm not looking forward to you coming back on Sunday. I wish I could just keep on being by myself. A single room would be so great right now.
I don't know how I'm going to make it through this last semester. I guess it's good that I'll be gone until 3:30/4pm every day. Is it too mean to say that I hope you have afternoon/evening classes? Or at least I hope you get out of the room more often. Go hang out with Hannah and Josh. Maybe I should make it a point to go over to Amanda and Christie's more often. Getting out will be good for me. Mostly so I won't go crazy and want to kill yell at you.
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| 2007-12-05 04:46 |
| Ugh. |
| Public |
| exhausted |
| thoughts |
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I feel like I'm thisclose to snapping.
I feel kind of guilty that the things that bother me are getting to me, but...well, I was going to say "I can't help it," but maybe I can. I don't feel like I can.
I just want to be home. Can we skip straight to April 27th? I don't really need all those months between now and then. It couldn't possibly be that I'm too scared to face them...nope, not at all.
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| 2007-11-19 02:03 |
| Relationships ARE a series of complex games. |
| Public |
| frustrated |
| venting |
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Why do I feel like such a complete ass?
So many things you do annoy me. They frustrate me. I am this close to losing it and ranting and getting angry at you.
But I don't really WANT to do that.
How am I ever going to live with someone for the rest of my life?! I get agitated by even my best friends when living with them. I guess it would be different if I wasn't stuck in the same, tiny room all the time.
I just want April 26th to be here now. :(
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| 2007-11-13 11:21 |
| I can't really take it anymore. |
| Public |
| frustrated |
| venting |
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I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. It needed to be said.
But I think I said too much in that comment. That's why I deleted it. I know you'll still read it, and probably still be upset. I won't say I'm sorry, because I'm not. It needed to be said.
I just wish you wouldn't be so upset about hearing the truth.
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| 2007-11-06 11:04 |
| I don't need more frustration right now. |
| Public |
| venting |
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Sometimes, I really don't understand you.
Every Tuesday/Thursday I go to class, come back and shower before lunch.
You stay in bed until I get back, usually about 10:45-11:00am.
So, today, when I say I'm going to shower, you freak out and say no, you need to shower first. You have a teacher's name written down and the time 11:45am next to it. But you can't remember what day that's even for, or what it means exactly.
So instead of getting up while I'm in class so you can have plenty of time to shower and be ready, you sleep.
I usually don't care what the hell you do, but you know I have class at 12:30pm. You know I have lab and work afterwards. You know I need to take my shower and eat lunch in the small window of time I have between my two classes.
Sometimes I just wish you were more thoughtful of others.
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| 2007-10-23 03:53 |
| Silence is golden. |
| Public |
| sleepy |
| venting |
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I just want some quiet, alone, ME time.
I don't really mind your music, or you being here...it's just I'm so used to being alone. I miss that. And our schedules don't conflict, so when I have free time here in the room, so do you.
It might sound mean, but sometimes I wish it wasn't that way.
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| 2007-10-21 22:13 |
| All in all it was a pretty good day. |
| Public |
 okay |
| "So Beautiful" ~ Darren Hayes |
| thoughts |
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I knew he wouldn't call. Even so, I had my phone next to me all day. Sometimes I vaugely wondered if my phone was acting up; what if he had tried to call me and it didn't go through? But then I told myself that it didn't really matter. The way we parted Friday night was perfect.
I keep telling myself I've got to move on. Hopefully I'll start listening to myself soon.
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| 2007-10-07 04:13 |
| Ugh. |
| Public |
| exhausted |
| thoughts |
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I may or may not have checked my gmail 4815162342 times today waiting hoping for a reply, even though I knew he'd be busy today.
*shakes head*
When did I become that girl?!
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